We have all had someone betray us or abandon us, whether family, friends, at school or at work. And it hurts. We trusted them to meet their promises, or at least our assumptions of their promises. And they failed.
Then again, while the pain of disillusionment is swift, the pain that often results from denial can be much longer lasting and more devastating. A marriage, employment, or political system that denies the partially hidden lies or deceit slowly eats away at us even though we pretend not to notice, or not to be hurt.
An even more insidious form of debilitating illusions is beliefs that don’t match the world we live in. We are often inundated with so many theories, explanations, experts, and narratives, all of which are based on simplifying assumptions, most of which are circulated so as to influence our behavior, and none of which are entirely consistent with the real world. It is so easy to reach a false conclusion. Religions, politicians, and corporations all “shape the narrative.”
The reason this is so painful is that, while our intellectual brain can easily absorb and run with any fabricated narrative, our heart is not attuned with words, and is attuned with the real world. Our own hearts see through the lies we tell ourselves. Arguments between the heart and the analytical mind can cause inflammation in nerves and other tissues and sometimes, debilitating pain.